I was given the honor to conduct a memorial to celebrate the life of a 24 year old woman whose existence was snuffed out as a result of a heroin overdose. The location was The Garden of Infinite Compassion, where an authentic Tibetan Wheel, made in Nepal is the focus of a kiosk within the garden. If one grips a narrow channel at the base of the wheel and walks around one complete circle, a bell is rung and it is said that prayers are released at that time. The kiosk was filled with those who shared empathy for the family. It was a very chilly, November late afternoon, 36 degrees in fact. Snow had fallen the prior day, freezing on the shrubs that bore splendiferous blossoms just months prior, tiki torches were scattered throughout the huge, impressive slabs of magnificent rocks adjacent to the kiosk and the tone of the gathering was reflected of the name of the garden–Infinite Compassion.
As the small group stood, cuddling near their loved ones and allowing the cold to be as it is, a gentleman closed his comments with the thought that life is the dash between two numbers that will be written on one’s tombstone. Those words pierced into the deepest part of my heart. In conclusion of the time together, I shared with the mourners, who endured the elements, that I did not know this young soul who made her transition, but that I was there to address “the dash.”
Each listened attentively, tears filling the eyes of those near me, as I encouraged her friends and family to use this event to introspect and reflect on how an expanded perspective of life might make a difference in their own day; how letting go of the past, make-wrongs, anger and hatred could be replaced with a choice to live from a more authentic point of view, with the focus on positive, forward energy instead of negative thinking. As a survivor of the concentration camps, Victor Frankl said, “nobody can make me hate,” as he watched the Germans burn a manuscript of his life experiences. “How much of the struggle in your life is self-imposed,” I asked the group?
And, now I ask you the following:
How are you choosing to live “the dash” in your life?
Will your existence make a difference?
How much joy do you spread merely through your presence?
Will the influence you leave behind be a negative or positive one?
At what frequency do you vibrate? What energy are you radiating?
How are you choosing to be remembered?
I invite your answers. Namaste
Alexandra Delis-Abrams, Ph.D.
www.theattitudedoc.com
